The Sound of Target Falling Off the Pedestal

You guys, I’ve been doing some pioneering research at Target. Okay, actually it was unintentional and turned out to be something of a bother.

Just in case you were wondering, the stickers on the sunglasses at Target have a will of their own and will aggressively poke you in the eyeball if you don’t pay attention. And now I have a corneal abrasion.

I’m not sure which is worse: the fact that I’m wearing an EYE PATCH right now (and it’s not even bedazzled, in manner of Lily Charles in Pushing Daisies) or the fact that I now have to admit that bad things happen at Target. My mum is out at the 24 hour pharmacy buying some sort of eye wash. (See Rebecca, at this particular moment I am stoked about the American obsession with convenience. I’m just going to pretend the entire country is catering to my overwhelming clumsiness:).) I briefly considered asking Mum to get me bedazzling materials, but she’s the practical sort. I didn’t think she’d feel inclined to indulge that particular whim.

Do you think the eye patch would make me a more intimidating Assistant Warden? I’m hoping I’ll only have to wear it for a few days, but maybe I’ll bring it back with me and use it when breaking up particularly rowdy parties.